December 9, 2013
“What the fuck is cancer? And why does everybody have it?”
I’ll never forget how those exasperated words landed on me only an hour after sharing the news with my friend and colleague, Whitney, that I had been diagnosed with breast cancer. I was 38 years old. I found the lump on a Sunday morning and just in time for lunch the following Wednesday I had a diagnosis. It was April 13, 2011.
Leading up to that Sunday morning, I ate well, exercised and for the most part had what most of us think of as the ideal, healthy body-nourishing regiment. With all of that, I suppose I should have been surprised the first time I felt the lump. But somehow, I wasn’t. I was surprised in the, “Oh wow,we’ve got a situation here” type of way, but not at all in a “why me?” kind of way. I was much more interested in why this was happening in a global sense and why I had allowed myself to be uneducated about cancer in a world where it runs so rampant. I think that’s why Whitney’s words hit me like a flamethrower. “What the fuck is cancer? And why does everybody have it?” They were really the only two questions I had about the big picture and I was totally perplexed as to why there was no answer. I wasn’t angry. I was just blindsided and curious.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that I didn’t know what the fuck cancer was because it was just too much. It was too big. It wasn’t something I could wrap my head around, so I simply didn’t see it. I beat myself up about that for a moment and then I thought, “Okay, how am I able to see this? What do I need? What would be helpful for me, for other cancer fighters and for all of the people in our lives who have the desire, but no idea how to help? What’s missing?”
Click Here to read the complete story at The Huffington Post.